April 19, 2023 kerchd

Mindset Minute for Higher Performance – The Criticism-Praise Ratio

John Gottman, Ph.D., internationally renowned relationship expert and researcher  found that just 1single negative comment during a conflict required 5 positive interactions or comments to bring the dynamic between the individuals back to neutral ground.  Yes, it’s a 1:5 ratio. Let that sink in. 1 negative comment breaks a good dynamic and it requires 5 positives to bring it back to where it was before the conflict.

Now, what happens when there is a flurry of negatives, or worse, negatives that are camouflaged, subtle, flippant, or covert? You guessed it… same impact and same requirement to repair but with increased number of positives required. The point here is that many leaders often complain about disengaged employees or teams, but they rarely take a look inside themselves to understand how they might be adding to the problem. It is important to keep in mind that as leaders, regardless of the level or title in your organization, everyone around you is looking and keeping notice of your interactions, words, and behaviors explicit or subtle.

Remember this as you go about your daily activities with your teams. How much time and energy are you wasting just trying to get your relationship dynamics back to neutral ground? How much more effective, productive, and engaging could your work setting be if you paid attention to not only what you said, but also how you reinforced it before it breaks down?

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